Archive by Author: Greg X Graves

Huzzah! Here's everything posted by Greg X Graves

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http://www.gregxgraves.com
About Greg X Graves
I was sent from the future! To brag about how great our jetpacks are!

The Sims Medieval, or How Do You Say ‘Well-met!’ In Simlish?

4 Aug Games and Gaming News
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The Sims Medieval, or How Do You Say ‘Well-met!’ In Simlish?

Electronic Arts announced The Sims Medieval, a version of the game that presumably takes place in the far future, after the collapse of Simciety. In that wretched time, the plague caused by sims leaving piles of dirty dishes around their living quarters and crapping in the gutter because of an inexplicable lack of toilet facilities has returned civilization to a feudal system. Pottage is the new haute cuisine. The new model 2524 horses have just come out. All of the two-toed city pigeons have been renamed “doves” and retired to dovecotes on country estates.

Membership in the Society for Creative Anachronism is mandatory. Continue reading »

2010 Blizzard Writing Contest

Blizzard has announced their 2010 writing contest.  They’re looking for short prose fiction between 2,500 and 7,500 words and set in either the Diablo, Starcraft or Warcraft universe.  To which I say fuck that, because I wanted to write some mustache fanfic based on the Lost Vikings. The deadline is August 23rd, which I can only assume to be in Blizzard Time so make sure to get it to them no later than February 2012.

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75 Golden Wrenches!

6 Jul Games and Gaming

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75 Golden Wrenches!

Team Fortress 2 is the game that keeps on giving, like a fun version of food poisoning. The developers, Valve Software, have been releasing updates since the game’s release in October 2007. Many of the major releases have taken the form of updates focused around adding new equipment and abilities to a given class. Adding new equipment and making fun of Australia, that is.

The game has developed a hilarious mythos, supported by a series of comic pages and blog posts.

A new update is arriving for the Engineer class and day one includes the announcement of a new shotgun that encourages furious revenge!

Day One.

4 Reasons Why Team Fortress Classic is Better Than Team Fortress 2

23 Jun Retrospectives



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vips

Team Fortress 2 (TF2) was released in October 2007 as part of the Orange Box, which will be known to our children and our children’s children as the best Value in History, even better than the famous Christmas season when United Automatons forgets to charge extra for the vibrator attachment. Team Fortress 2 exemplified team-based gaming, providing the player with nine different classes, all with unique abilities. For example, the demoman could launch grenades to create chokepoints or to destroy weapons emplacements, while the spy could cause a spontaneous ballooning in the posterior cerebral artery of the player whose character he backstabbed.

TF2 certainly has some merits, but if that noble game is a polished-up Ferrari, then Team Fortress Classic (TFC) is the junker with NOS, an old piece of shit that doesn’t look so hot but which is loaded up with mods, memories and not just a few bits of illegal swag. Below I present four reasons why TFC is better than TF2. Continue reading »

16-bits of Fun: Aerobiz

10 Jun Retrospectives Reviews


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aerobiz-charts

Have you ever played Super Mario World and wished that one of the question blocks would pop out a tiny clipboard that would equip Mario with a suit?  Have you ever wanted the warp whistle in Legend of Zelda to whisk you away to a magical boardroom full of stale coffee and stale people who smell like coffee?

Well, a unicorn heard your wish and squeezed out Aerobiz!
Continue reading »